Humanda ka 2013

Sa totoo lang, pagkabigo ang nararamdaman ko sa mga nababasa kong mga pangalan na tatakbo para sa Halalan ng 2013. Well, nabigo ako sa halos lahat ng pangalan. Kung hindi sila kamag-anak ng mga nakaupong mga pulitiko ngayon (at alam na alam naman nating kawalang-hiyaan lang ang nagawa nila habang nasa posisyon; ika nga pakapalan nalang ng mukha sa pagtaguyod ng dinastiyang bastos. Hindi na ako magbabanggit ng mga pangalan dahil mauubos lang ang ating oras), sila naman any mga nagmamaganda o nagpapagwapong artista (Hello, Aga Muhlach sa Kongreso?!) o hindi kaya ay talagang matibay lang ang kanilang sikmura para tumakbo, kahit na alam na alam nilang wala naman silang kredibilidad sa larangan ng public service (ika nga, shoot for the stars talaga! Wag nang dumaan sa mababa, sa kaitaas-taasan talaga para bongga. Hello ulit, Jinkee Pacquiao as Vice Governor?! Bet ko, ipapa-Belo lang nya lahat ng tao sa Sarangani).

Sa totoo lang din, pakiramdam ko ay binababoy lang din nila ang eleksyon. Hindi ko alam kung may basihan ang pakiramdam kong ito, pero bilang isang ordinaryong mamamayan na sumusubaybay lang sa mga balita, pakiramdam ko na binabastos lang tayo dahil kung sino pa ang mga may masasamang budhi, sila pa ang pinapatakbo at sinusuportahan. At kung sino pa ang may mabubuting hangarin, sila pa ang hinihila pababa. Very good talaga itong mga pulitikong ito. Palakasan lang naman talaga.

Hanggang ngawa lang naman talaga tayo sa mga panahong ito dahil hindi naman natin kontrol kung sino ang mga tatakbo sa eleksyon. Pero sa oras na na ibigay na sa mamamayan ang kapangyarihan kung sino ang mananalo sa halalan sa 2013, siguraduhin nating maririnig nila ang gusto natin -- ang isang malinis at matinong gobyerno. 

Pano kamo?

1) Aba'y MAGPAREHISTRO KA MUNA! Paano ka nga naman boboto kung hindi ka pa talaga nakapagparehistro. Hoy, OCTOBER 31, 2012 ang deadline ng Voter's Registration kaya tumayo ka na jan sa kinauupuan mo at pumunta na sa inyong COMELEC office.

Tandaan: Basta 18 years old ka na pagdating ng eleksyon, pwedeng pwede ka nang magparehistro. Dalhin ang Application for Registration Form (na maaaring i-download sa COMELEC website) at photocopy ng Valid ID. Punta ka sa website na ito kung marami ka pang tanong na gustong sagutin: http://www.comelec.gov.ph/?r=VoterRegistration/GeneralInfo

2) MAGING MA-ALAM AT MAKIALAM. Marami na akong nakilala na mahilig makialam sa mga bagay-bagay pero hindi naman nila alam kung ano ba talaga ang nagyayari. Aba e'y mahirap kaya iyon. Para kang nakikipaglaban na ang suot mo ay french coat at boots at ang laban ay nasa disyerto.

Kaya, alamin ng maigi kung sinu-sino ang tatakbo sa inyong lugar. Magsaliksik tungkol sa mga kandidato at alamin kung may nagawa ba talaga sila para sa mga tao. HUWAG NA HUWAG MAGPADALA SA MGA COMMERCIAL SA TV! It's just the tip of the iceberg. 

3) MAGTAPANG AT MAGSALITA. Kung may nalalaman ka, i-share mo naman. Selfish ka naman masyado, ayaw mong malaman ng iba. Lalo na kung alam mong importante siyang malaman ng madlang boboto sa eleksyon. Mas maganda kung ang ibabalita mo ay yung mga magaganda ukol sa mga kandidatong iboboto mo. At ang pinakamaganda, TOTOO ANG IBINABALITA MO. 

4) BUMOTO AT MAGBANTAY NG BOTO. Ang eleksyon ay ang grand finals para sa mga tumakbo, it's THE moment of truth. Ito na rin ang pagkakataon natin bilang mamamayang Pilipino na ipaghiganti ang Pilipinas laban sa mga politikong nang-aapi dito. Kaya ang boto mo ay mahalaga. Lalo na kung ang boto mo ay para sa mga taong MATINO, MAHUSAY, at MAKA-DIYOS. 

Ano kamo? Walang magagawa ang iisang boto dahil isa lang naman ito sa ilang libong botong ibibigay? Inday, Dodong, nagkakamali ka! Wrong! Isa man yan, makapangyarihan din yan. Isipin mo, if there's no drop of water willing to be part of the ocean, then there won't be any ocean at all.O di kaya, isipin mo na isa kang buhok sa ulo ng isang tao. Kung nawala ka, kawawa naman yung ulong kinalalagyan mo dahil malay mo, ikaw nalang ang nag-iisang buhok sa ulo niya. Makakalbo pa siya. Looking at the BIGGER PICTURE, you will do wonders if you vote.

At siyempre, tuwing halalan, may mga hindi maiiwasang masasamang elemento na handang gawin ang lahat para manakaw lang ang boto mo. Papayag ka ba sa ganun? Ako, hinding-hindi! Pinaghirapan ko kayang i-research, pag-isipan, pagpilahan, at i-shade ang voting sheet ko. Ayoko ngang nakawin yun. Ewan ko lang sayo. Kaya importante din na maging mapagmatiyag tayo at magbantay ng boto. Pwede kayong mag-volunteer magbantay. Ito ang mga alam kong mga grupo na pwedeng salihan: http://www.slb.ph/ at http://www.ppcrv.org/global/index.php

Sa huli, ang madlang Pilipino ang may hawak sa kung sino man ang mananalo sa eleksyon. Siguraduhin naman nating naging bahagi tayo nito. 

Hindi pa ba kayo sawa sa pangungurakot ng mga politiko? Hiindi pa ba kayo sawa sa pare-parehong pangalan na nailuluklok sa pwesto na wala naman talagang nagawang mabuti? Hindi pa ba kayo sawa sa mga pangakong binibitawan nila sa eleksyon? Hindi pa ba kayo pagod lumusong sa baha o maglakad sa hindi natapos na daan o tulay kahit na nagbabayad kayo ng tamang buwis? 

Well, ako, sawang-sawa na. Kaya boboto ako. Aalamin ko ng husto kung sino ang matino, mahusay, at maka-Diyos. Hindi ko lang idadaan sa pagandahan o pagwapuhan o sa kaawa-awang mga TV commercials nila. Ito ang tanging malaking paraan para maiganti ko naman ang mahal kong Pilipinas laban sa mga bastos na mga taong ang gusto lang ay saktan siya. 

Bumoto ka na rin. Bumoto tayo. Para din naman ito sa atin ito.

When Bubbles Burst

We were children

When we were children, all adults around us tried their best to protect us from being hurt by the world – they wrapped us with thick blankets when it got cold, swapped mosquitoes when they started hovering around us, carried us when the path got long and rugged, covered our eyes or ears when we encountered something unpleasant. Somehow, we became sheltered by their protection and were shielded from the world’s forces.

As children, adults also tried their best to teach us about etiquette and manners and on how to view things in a certain perspective. They taught us that it’s bad to lie and that it’s bad to hurt other people. They taught us to say “please” during every request and “thank you” when something was given to or done for us. They taught us that bad people go to jail and good people go to heaven. They taught us a lot of things and, as children, we did believe them and the lessons they shared. As children, they made us see the world through colourful and wonderful lenses.

In a way, we, as innocent little people, were indeed put inside a bubble.

And we grew older

However, as we grow up and as we slowly learn the survival techniques we needed to eventually live our daily life, we realize that we are actually really bound to be independent. Bit-by-bit, we learned to run and jump, spell our words, construct and read our sentences, solve math equations, make friends, and make decisions on our own.

Then, as we grow older, we tend to come across or go through situations where people die, not only through natural death, but because they were raped, murdered, or they met an untimely accident. We hear or become part of stories where people lie and people steal as if lying and stealing were the norm, as if getting more than a person’s rightful share was the status quo. We slowly learn that there are a lot of questions that cannot only be answered by a simple “yes” or “no” – that some answers need little alibis to escape or prove accusations. We then learn that friends or lovers who have been together for the longest time can still cheat on each other. As we grow older, we slowly see ourselves slowly being immersed to what those adults call “the harsh realities of life”.

And then the precious little bubble which wraps us begins to burst.

The Inner Bubble

And when that bubble starts to burst, we feel shaken, as if everything that we believed in when we were children were all b******t. The world begins to seem hazy and we start to ask a lot of questions wherein most of the time we just get disappointed for not finding the right answers. We begin to become undecided if we should stand on our toes or if we should take the fall. Suddenly, a thin line appears before our feet and sometimes it gets too confusing which side will make you, or the world, better or worse. We even start to question the authenticity of our decisions, or even our feelings.

Then we realize that it is in times like these, when harsh realities strike us in the face, that we begin to see the inner bubble that we have – our core values. What are the moral beliefs that we hold dear the most? Is it honesty, equality, courage?

Perhaps, the reason why we are afraid and why we are shaken is because it is our core values which are being put to test. The core values that make up who we are – the values we own that makes the core of our being. These may be the values shared and taught to us by the adults who protected us when we were young.

And because our inner bubble lies within us, it also only ourselves who can decide if we would hold on or let go of our beliefs. Even though the world pushes us to the edge, makes us stand on our toes, or deceives us in crossing the line, we still hold the decision if we’ll let the world burst this inner bubble or hold it more closely to our self.




*Thank you Fr. Pat for helping me see my Inner Bubble.*

The Quest for Boy Shawarma

My quest for the authentic taste of Saudi-made shawarma actually began last 2006, when I flew back to the Philippines to continue my studies. As you may have heard, almost every child who grew up in Saudi Arabia, or perhaps in other countries within the Middle East, would fly back to the Philippines to take up their undergraduate degrees because of the limited, or lack thereof, schools that can offer college courses to Filipino students.

Shawarma, as how it was known in the Middle East, is a popular sandwich comprised of chicken or lamb, with fries, pickles, tomatoes, cucumber, and garlic sauce rolled in unleavened bread, or what Arabs would call “kubus”. If I were asked what the signature taste of Saudi-made shawarma was, it definitely would be how the garlic sauce would taste.

Unmet Shawarma Expectations

So, because I was terribly missing home and was also desperate in having another taste of Saudi-made shawarma since I got back to the Philippines, I tried almost every Mediterranean restaurant and Shawarama stalls that I would come across with. Unfortunately, none of these food establishments were even close to what real shawarma would taste or even look like. They always prepare shawarma in this way – chicken or beef with fresh onions, strips of cabbage, tomatoes, and cucumber with your choice of ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, cheese or diluted garlic sauce rolled in pita bread. I was just disappointed every freakin’ time. Basically because I know how real shawarma would taste or look like. And these establishments are not giving the shawarma sandwich justice. I am sure that those who grew up or spent some years living in the Middle East would relate to this and get what I mean.

I actually have found the perfect garlic sauce which tastes much like the garlic sauce used in Saudi-made shawarma, thanks to my high-school friend. I found this piece of heaven being served in O’pollo. But, they serve the sauce together with fried chicken and with other Australian recipes, not Mediterranean. Later on, we were surprised to find out that O’pollo closed. And so the hunt for the perfect authentic garlic sauce and shawarma still continues.

Then, after six long years of searching, I think I have finally found THE REAL shawarma. It was through a craze going on in Facebook happening over a month ago where several of my friends from Saudi, who are also already here in the country, kept on posting statuses that had the words “authentic”, “real”, and “Saudi” attached to “shawarma”. And there, I came across with the two words, “Boy Shawarma”.

  

The Wait Is Over

I became ecstatic! FINALLY! Some good-hearted fellow brought the taste of real Mediterranean shawarma here in the Philippines! I have to experience this phenomenon!

And so, on the afternoon of August 27, after a month-long wait, my sister, brother and I went hand-in-hand to look for this Boy Shawarma diner where real Saudi-made shawarma is allegedly served. We alighted at the Vito Cruz Station of the LRT1 yellow line (the line where DLSU and CSB were), headed towards Tapa King and took a right turn to Estrada St. We took a few more steps heading to the side of St. Scholastica’s college, and there, to your right, just beside the milk tea store, there you would find, in red sign, Boy Shawarama.

This is the first part of their menu. They really have budget friendly prices. 

They also serve beef shawarma instead of lamb because veal is quite more expensive and harder to find.

Well, their packaging aren't like the white paper used in Saudi,
but, what the hey, their shawarma tastes a lot like those made in Saudi!

The rest of our experience is documented through the videos below. Just for the record, it is the REAL thing! For the first time, I wasn’t disappointed on how shawarma was prepared and served. The place is fairly new, only a month or so in operations, so some minor constructions are still being done, but, still, what the hey, their shawarmas are to die for! 

We also had the opportunity to meet Mr. Al Santos, the owner of Boy Shawarma. I would like to thank you again, Sir, and your son, Chester, for bringing us home to Saudi Arabia, just by merely tasting your Shawarma. Below is the video of my short interview with him: (Video to follow as it is currently being edited) 

I think Boy Shawarma concluded my quest in searching for the authentic taste of Saudi-made shawarma. If there would be any new restaurants who dare serve Mediterranean Shawarma, I must suggest that they first taste Boy Shawarma, because Boy Shawarma has indeed set the benchmark of how shawarma should really taste like.

Watch out for their new offerings in the next few weeks! Can’t wait to taste it for myself, too!

Cheers!

Salamat Jesse: Of Planting Seeds and Hope

It’s all over the news now. The Philippines’ DILG Secretary Jesse Robredo passed away through a plane crash. The entire nation is mourning over the loss of another generous soul. And I, too, weep with them.

I will always remember Sec. Jesse as a humble man. Whenever we would invite him to speak during our events, I never felt an air of arrogance when he’s around. He just quietly walks in the room, waits for him to be introduced, and then starts his talk. He always seemed happy and calm, because he and his eyes were always smiling.  

I deeply admire him on how firm he was in planting little seeds of good governance in all his works. Whenever he shared his stories, I never heard him brag about his achievements. When he told about the successes of Naga City, he always stresses that it was his team that did a great job. Upon hearing his stories, I really proved to myself that this man is deeply rooted in the values of transparency, accountability, and people’s participation in his leadership, especially through two of the reforms that he has lead – the reinvention of the Local School Board and eGovernance.

Last Monday night, when the retrieval operations were still on-going for Sec. Jesse, I was still hopeful, secretly wishing and praying that Sec. Jesse was just tossed away by the tides to a remote island where people don’t recognize him because they do not have communication systems available.

But when the news broke on Tuesday morning that his body has already been retrieved from the submerged plane, I can’t help but feel pain. And I can’t stop asking God, why him? A lot of ill-hearted politicians who have done so much injustice in this country deserved more to be in that plane crash. But, why him? And then I remembered Dr. Gerry Ortega, also a kind spirit who wants nothing more but to give the Palawenos what’s rightly theirs. And then I asked myself more, why him? Why do good men always have to die first before those who are greedy for power and money? Why is it so unfair? The country still can’t afford to lose someone like Sec. Jesse. Why him?

During the night of the breaking news, a good friend asked how I was holding up. She asked, so I cried and ranted a little. And she mentioned something like this, “Maybe we cry, not for them, but for us. Because we’re the ones to feel sorry for really. For losing him.” Maybe she’s right. When I think about it, I actually am happy knowing that Sec. Jesse is already somewhere up in the heavens, having the happiest time of his life as he has already joined our Creator. As to me, as to us, who are still left to live here in this crazy world, we do cry. Because we know that losing someone like Sec. Jesse will make the fight for good governance a little bit harder again. He brought hope for the Philippines through his works, and now that he’s gone, we feel that a bit of hope went with him as well.

Right now, I’m still at a loss on how I can make sense out of this. Mainly because, I don’t really understand why God would allow these kinds of things to happen to his best servants. But, behind this, I now feel that there is a call to continue what Sec. Jesse has left behind. To help grow the little seeds of good governance that he started to plant and to also plant my own little seeds of ethical leadership. From the hope that I felt which Sec. Jesse gave for the country, I now feel that there’s now a call to transform that hope and make it my own -- a louder and stronger call to now be the hope that I want to be for our beloved country.

I cry because of a great loss, but I pray that this loss would give me greater hope to become a more loving person and leader, just like Sec. Jesse.

Sec. Jesse, I am blessed to have met you. Thank you for planting your little seed of good governance in me. To continue your legacy, I’ll do my best to nurture this seed and share it to people who need it the most.

Sec. Jesse, always with a smile, willingly answered questions given by the participants of the "Champions for Good Governance and Education Leadership Seminar" who were mostly Mayors, Vice-Mayors and Councilors.
*photo courtesy by Jess Lorenzo, KN Core Member

Sec. Jesse readily poses for a photo op with Local Government Leaders during our "Best Practices on Election Campaign and Strategies Seminar" last April. To think that he's the Secretary of the DILG, he was very approachable and accessible to everyone.

“Later on in life, you will realize that it is neither your successes nor your conquests that will give you satisfaction. It is your contribution that really matters—paying back what you owe the community that nurtured you.” - DILG Secretary Jesse Robredo

Kaya Natin!

L'engagement

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

And I still can't believe it. James, my boyfriend of 4 years, popped the question by the Subic Bay on the night of July 15. With sand on our feet, the cold breeze, and the company of each other, I wouldn't trade the setting, nor the whole experience, for anything else. 

Everything happened so fast, so I'll just walk you through the proposal with the help of some pictures I snapped before, during and after THE event. :)

In the morning, we went to Zoobic Safari and had fun meeting and greeting all the animals that they housed. Just so you know, James has a big amusement for animals (especially the camel, for a reason I'll never know), so I gave the trip as a gift for his birthday. :)

 For dinner, we originally planned to have some wine and dine experience. But, as forgetful as I am, I didn't bring any extra dress to be presentable enough for such prominent places. So we ended up having dinner and drinking coffee at Xtremely Xpresso Cafe.

Notice what I'm wearing -- a hand-me-down shirt from my mother which I trimmed and cut for a more fashionable look.  There even was a safety pin to hold the neckline together to help not expose everything! I was also just wearing maong shorts and Ipanema sandals. What I was wearing will never be acceptable in a wine and dine place! 

I was high on caffeine when  we left the restaurant. The cafe's coffee was aromatic, tasty,  and addicting! The caffeine was the reason why I was all giddy and talkative the whole time when we were on the beach side. Blame it on the yummy coffee, man!

This is how the beach front looked like that night. The breeze was cool, the lighting was romantic, and the sound of the waves was relaxing. Just so you you know, I always loved the beach. It feels like home to me. So it was perfect. 

When reading on, please be reminded that I was high on caffeine so all of my neurons were awake.

When we sat down on the shore, I suggested that we go over the pictures we took throughout the day. And so we did. I did the talking the whole time because of the caffeine rush and James just intently listened, just how he did whenever I tell him stories. 

After all my talking and their was silence in the air, it was his cue to speak. He told me that he had a gift for me. And I was like, "WHAT?! Baket may regalo ka sa akin, eh ikaw ang may birthday! Dapat ako ang may regalo sa 'yo!" 

He just smiled and handed me a medium-sized black box with dried petals pasted on it and a picture of us at the bottom with the phrase "Made for each other".

When I opened the box, the inside was overflowing with crepe paper. So I carefully dug my fingers to see what was beneath. Because I was taking my time, and because butterflies are beginning to form in my stomach that's why I was really taking my time, James impatiently put his hand inside the box and pulled out a ring! My reaction? 

SURPRISED AND SPEECHLESS!

When he took the ring out, he started saying his speech. At the same time, a lot's already happening in my mind, "Oh my gosh! Singsing ba 'yan?! Bakit may singsing?! Magpo-propose na ba 'to?!".

So I told him, "WAIT! WAIT!" with my palm over his face. But I thought that maybe I was too assuming. Maybe he just wanted to give me a ring without any meaning. So I let him continue, "Okay, sige, go, continue."

And then while he was trying to finish his lines, I suddenly blurted "Sandali, bakit ka nag-i-english?!". You see, at this point, I am already getting uncomfortable, that the cute butterflies in my stomach are beginning to feel like large moths. Then he answered, "Eh, English ang pinrepare kong speech eh. Patapusin mo nga ako! Nawawala na ang momentum eh!". OOOOPS. Sorry! 

I just remember him say, "Thank you for taking care of me and making me your big baby. I may not promise you a day without sadness... his voice slowly fading out because I was too anxious inside ... But I promise you ... his voice slowly fading out again ... Will you marry me?"

When he said his last line, I wanted to let out tears, but they wouldn't come out because of all the emotions I feel. It was too good to be true. I hugged him tight. And long. And I said yes. And then, after a long discussion on what hand the ring should be on, he wore it on my right ring finger. 

To some, it may not be the most romantic proposal, but for me, it was the perfect one and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Not that it was the only proposal I'll ever have, but because it was James and his good-hearted intention, and it was the sincere love we have, and the humor that we'll always share that made the proposal the best.

So, again,

I'M GETTING MARRIED!



Cheers!

Dancing the Storm

There will be certain times in your life when you feel chaos inside you and you unconsciously veer away from the rays of the sun and sulk in night. It's okay for you to be with yourself for a while. But make sure that you catch your self as fast as you can before you find yourself choking -- or let others do the catching for you.

Man always had -- and still has -- the option of crying out loud for help. But often, Man has taken this precious option for granted. Man thinks that he can always, always do things alone. But I think that is how pride comes about.

Man, ever since, has always been born into a community. Man was never born alone. In the Creation Story, Adam always had God and the animals around. And Eve had Adam.

There will always be someone ready to catch you. All you just need to do is ask.

And there will be moments of disillusionment and uncertainty at some points in your lifetime. Go and grieve -- but don't soak yourself too long. You might end up seeing yourself drowning. You can always swim and wade in the waters. If you can't, you can always learn.

You see, Man's initial instinct, when put in a battle, is to survive. That is why Man is on top of the animal kingdom. Man can learn, Man can adapt. So, don't tell me you can't go through your chaos, because you, as Man, can.

So, if you see yourself in the middle of a storm, you always have the choice to dance in the rain, because you can.

And when the storm comes on a little bit stronger, always remember that there are people around you that are willing to dance harder with you if you just shout out to them -- or who will even brave the storm just to take you safely back home.

"The Praying Hands" by Albrecht Durer
Read about this masterpiece on: http://angiesdiary.com/articles/durers-the-praying-hands-the-story/

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As We Turn 4.1

Yesterday marked the fourth year and one month anniversary of James and I. Honestly, I don't feel like our exclusive affair has been running for that long already. It may sound mushy and corny, but I still feel like we are still in the honeymoon stage of our relationship. And I'm thankful for still feeling butterflies in my stomach. 

One good friend asked me once on how James and I maintain our relationship and still feel "kilig" whenever we're together. "Well, the explanation's quite complicated," I answered, "but the gist of it is, I believe, when you stop thinking that love is merely based on feelings and is also a conscious effort to decide to love your partner every day, then perhaps, you'll survive. Love, more than a feeling, is a rational commitment."

Going deeper into this train of thought, I would just like to share with you my thoughts and the lessons I learned throughout my 4-year relationship journey.

1. Learn to love yourself first and foremost. Before entering in my current relationship, I had a broken heart and had my fair share of experiencing the hardships and victories of the healing process.

Coming from a not-so-healthy past relationship, my self-worth relied heavily on the approval of my partner. I was very conscious on how I look, talk, speak, react because I wanted him to like me. Always. And whenever my past flame said that I should cut my hair, have my hair rebonded, shave my legs, tone my voice down a little, move graciously a little, I'd do it so that he would like me more. Looking back, I must admit that it really was a restricting experience.

So, when the relationship ended, the only one whom I was left to satisfy is, well… myself. So, I cut my hair the time and the way I wanted it to be cut. I danced whenever I wanted to, I sang at the top of my lungs when I'm with my friends. I learned to draw, paint, compose songs and poems. While I satisfied myself, I realized that I was becoming happier. Maybe because I came to know myself more -- the right hairstyle that fits me, the right clothes which I think makes me pretty, the things that really piss me off, the things that I really like doing, watching, reading, listening to. And then I learned to appreciate myself and establish myself and love myself, in and out, good and bad points.

Why is loving yourself first very important, you may ask. Well, my answer would be simple. How can you give love to other people if you don't have any love to give in the first place? Imagine yourself as a water container. If you are not filled with water, will the thirst of the people around you be quenched? And how can other people know if they could put hot or cold water in you if you don't even know what your capacity is? If people put the wrong drink in you, you might melt if it's too hot or crack if it's too cold.

I think loving myself first was the first step so that I can be ready to receive love and give love back.

During one of YFC-A's events back in 2nd year college. 

*I dedicated a whole album documenting myself on how I coped with my heartbreak through the company of a lot of friends. You can check my album here: http://sophisticated19.multiply.com/photos/album/7/this-is-life-after-love). :)


2. Be yourself. And be with someone whom you can be yourself with. I think this is related to the first point raised above. Once I have learned to appreciate and love myself, I became comfortable being in my own skin. And as I opened myself to the possibility of finding a new flame, I made it a point that I won't allow any pretentions to arise, either from me or from my future boyfriend. He should be willing to accept me for who I am, and I should be willing to do the same. I made it a point to lay down all my cards down for him to see who I really am -- no secrets and no lies.

You see, when you are able be yourself whenever you're with your partner, you feel more free to express yourself and share your opinions, ideas, dreams with no restrictions. And when you are able to feel free in his company, that will also help you realize your full potential on whom you can become.

I always believe that God has created us to be the best that we can be. He created us to become wealthy. So, I think it really will be a great blessing if He sends someone who'll help us be who we are destined to be.  

While taking a break from studying, we cam-whored a little in Starbucks.

*To see more of our pretty pictures (yeah, we were drop-dead gorgeous), you can look at them here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1242723624185.38371.1112166601&type=3)

3. Respect each other's differences. During the initial stages of our budding relationship, we usually latch on the things that we're similar with. But as time goes by, it's inevitable that we'll also be able to decipher each of our differences.

He has his opinion, I have my own beliefs. And most often than not, we would clash. And clash is normal in a relationship. Basically because, he is another person than I am. And I am not who he is. Accepting both our differences and respecting the fact that we are different from each other can make a relationship easier to work on.

Understanding that we both have to accept and respect our individuality, we also have to understand and accept that we can't change each other. But if we do change our ways or our habits, it is because we willed to do it and not because we forced each other to.

Between us two, I'm the more serious one 
and James always loves to have fun. X_x

4. Love is unfair, sometimes. I also did not expect that I'll be believing this. But it's the truth that I experienced.


There were instances in our relationship where I felt that I was always at the receiving end and that I felt that I could not reciprocate all the things that James has shown or given me. This distressed me because I thought that not giving back would make him unhappy. But, it surprised me when he said, "The fact that you are letting me love you and that you're receiving my love already makes me happy."


"Besides," he said, "if you like to reciprocate it, you can in the way that you know."


There will be times that love will not be fair, maybe because we always expect that when we're given, we should immediately reciprocate back or give back the same given amount. But we should also understand that we move at our own pace, so we give back when we can. And we should always remember that love, or time, is intangible, non-measurable, and self-biased. What can be extravagant for me can be conservative for him.

On Valentines Day of 2012, he surprised me by leaving a rose and a letter on my office desk (the first time in 4 years!). I didn't have any gift from him on that day, though. 

So, on February 15, 2012, I made a simple candle-lit dinner for the two of us at my house. :) 

5. Communicate and know both your Love Languages. And if the time comes that you do piss each other off, always remember that the golden key to mend things is through open, two-way communication. Open, for me, means saying all that I'm feeling and the all the reasons why I felt that way. And two-way means giving him the chance to explain his side and listen intently to what he has to say.

There will also be times that it will not be easy searching for ways on how to fix the situation. If it does get to that point, what always was my main mantra is to answer the question "What is the more loving thing to do?"


Knowing each other's love languages is also helpful in showing that you love your partner. He might feel loved if you say nice words to him, or cook for him, or listen to all his stories. You might also realize that the Love Language you are giving is not exactly the Love Language that you would like to receive.


*You may test for your Love Language here: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/the-5-love-languages-test




6. Pray together. For me, faith has always been one, if not the most, important factor in considering my relationship. It will always be a plus point if my guy and I share the same belief, or better yet, the same faith. And praying together means a lot to me because this act is one way of recognizing that there is Someone greater than the two of us who, in the first place, allowed our paths to cross and who continues to bless us with more love as we look forward to more days of being together.

James and I like hearing mass, either in Gesu or in OLPP.
Maybe it's one of our ways, too, of affirming that we are a blessing to each other. 

As of today, I am happy where James and I are today. And with the lessons I learned throughout these years in my heart, I hold a hope that we can survive what the future has in store for us.


And as for you, my friend, I'm hoping that you be also blessed with and by the spirit of Love.


Cheers! :)