As We Turn 4.1

Yesterday marked the fourth year and one month anniversary of James and I. Honestly, I don't feel like our exclusive affair has been running for that long already. It may sound mushy and corny, but I still feel like we are still in the honeymoon stage of our relationship. And I'm thankful for still feeling butterflies in my stomach. 

One good friend asked me once on how James and I maintain our relationship and still feel "kilig" whenever we're together. "Well, the explanation's quite complicated," I answered, "but the gist of it is, I believe, when you stop thinking that love is merely based on feelings and is also a conscious effort to decide to love your partner every day, then perhaps, you'll survive. Love, more than a feeling, is a rational commitment."

Going deeper into this train of thought, I would just like to share with you my thoughts and the lessons I learned throughout my 4-year relationship journey.

1. Learn to love yourself first and foremost. Before entering in my current relationship, I had a broken heart and had my fair share of experiencing the hardships and victories of the healing process.

Coming from a not-so-healthy past relationship, my self-worth relied heavily on the approval of my partner. I was very conscious on how I look, talk, speak, react because I wanted him to like me. Always. And whenever my past flame said that I should cut my hair, have my hair rebonded, shave my legs, tone my voice down a little, move graciously a little, I'd do it so that he would like me more. Looking back, I must admit that it really was a restricting experience.

So, when the relationship ended, the only one whom I was left to satisfy is, well… myself. So, I cut my hair the time and the way I wanted it to be cut. I danced whenever I wanted to, I sang at the top of my lungs when I'm with my friends. I learned to draw, paint, compose songs and poems. While I satisfied myself, I realized that I was becoming happier. Maybe because I came to know myself more -- the right hairstyle that fits me, the right clothes which I think makes me pretty, the things that really piss me off, the things that I really like doing, watching, reading, listening to. And then I learned to appreciate myself and establish myself and love myself, in and out, good and bad points.

Why is loving yourself first very important, you may ask. Well, my answer would be simple. How can you give love to other people if you don't have any love to give in the first place? Imagine yourself as a water container. If you are not filled with water, will the thirst of the people around you be quenched? And how can other people know if they could put hot or cold water in you if you don't even know what your capacity is? If people put the wrong drink in you, you might melt if it's too hot or crack if it's too cold.

I think loving myself first was the first step so that I can be ready to receive love and give love back.

During one of YFC-A's events back in 2nd year college. 

*I dedicated a whole album documenting myself on how I coped with my heartbreak through the company of a lot of friends. You can check my album here: http://sophisticated19.multiply.com/photos/album/7/this-is-life-after-love). :)


2. Be yourself. And be with someone whom you can be yourself with. I think this is related to the first point raised above. Once I have learned to appreciate and love myself, I became comfortable being in my own skin. And as I opened myself to the possibility of finding a new flame, I made it a point that I won't allow any pretentions to arise, either from me or from my future boyfriend. He should be willing to accept me for who I am, and I should be willing to do the same. I made it a point to lay down all my cards down for him to see who I really am -- no secrets and no lies.

You see, when you are able be yourself whenever you're with your partner, you feel more free to express yourself and share your opinions, ideas, dreams with no restrictions. And when you are able to feel free in his company, that will also help you realize your full potential on whom you can become.

I always believe that God has created us to be the best that we can be. He created us to become wealthy. So, I think it really will be a great blessing if He sends someone who'll help us be who we are destined to be.  

While taking a break from studying, we cam-whored a little in Starbucks.

*To see more of our pretty pictures (yeah, we were drop-dead gorgeous), you can look at them here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1242723624185.38371.1112166601&type=3)

3. Respect each other's differences. During the initial stages of our budding relationship, we usually latch on the things that we're similar with. But as time goes by, it's inevitable that we'll also be able to decipher each of our differences.

He has his opinion, I have my own beliefs. And most often than not, we would clash. And clash is normal in a relationship. Basically because, he is another person than I am. And I am not who he is. Accepting both our differences and respecting the fact that we are different from each other can make a relationship easier to work on.

Understanding that we both have to accept and respect our individuality, we also have to understand and accept that we can't change each other. But if we do change our ways or our habits, it is because we willed to do it and not because we forced each other to.

Between us two, I'm the more serious one 
and James always loves to have fun. X_x

4. Love is unfair, sometimes. I also did not expect that I'll be believing this. But it's the truth that I experienced.


There were instances in our relationship where I felt that I was always at the receiving end and that I felt that I could not reciprocate all the things that James has shown or given me. This distressed me because I thought that not giving back would make him unhappy. But, it surprised me when he said, "The fact that you are letting me love you and that you're receiving my love already makes me happy."


"Besides," he said, "if you like to reciprocate it, you can in the way that you know."


There will be times that love will not be fair, maybe because we always expect that when we're given, we should immediately reciprocate back or give back the same given amount. But we should also understand that we move at our own pace, so we give back when we can. And we should always remember that love, or time, is intangible, non-measurable, and self-biased. What can be extravagant for me can be conservative for him.

On Valentines Day of 2012, he surprised me by leaving a rose and a letter on my office desk (the first time in 4 years!). I didn't have any gift from him on that day, though. 

So, on February 15, 2012, I made a simple candle-lit dinner for the two of us at my house. :) 

5. Communicate and know both your Love Languages. And if the time comes that you do piss each other off, always remember that the golden key to mend things is through open, two-way communication. Open, for me, means saying all that I'm feeling and the all the reasons why I felt that way. And two-way means giving him the chance to explain his side and listen intently to what he has to say.

There will also be times that it will not be easy searching for ways on how to fix the situation. If it does get to that point, what always was my main mantra is to answer the question "What is the more loving thing to do?"


Knowing each other's love languages is also helpful in showing that you love your partner. He might feel loved if you say nice words to him, or cook for him, or listen to all his stories. You might also realize that the Love Language you are giving is not exactly the Love Language that you would like to receive.


*You may test for your Love Language here: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/the-5-love-languages-test




6. Pray together. For me, faith has always been one, if not the most, important factor in considering my relationship. It will always be a plus point if my guy and I share the same belief, or better yet, the same faith. And praying together means a lot to me because this act is one way of recognizing that there is Someone greater than the two of us who, in the first place, allowed our paths to cross and who continues to bless us with more love as we look forward to more days of being together.

James and I like hearing mass, either in Gesu or in OLPP.
Maybe it's one of our ways, too, of affirming that we are a blessing to each other. 

As of today, I am happy where James and I are today. And with the lessons I learned throughout these years in my heart, I hold a hope that we can survive what the future has in store for us.


And as for you, my friend, I'm hoping that you be also blessed with and by the spirit of Love.


Cheers! :)

196B

Last Monday, two gold (good, old) friends of mine chanced upon a new possible hang-out spot along Katipunan Extension. We originally planned to try out Schizo Café since we read good reviews about it, but when we went down the cab, we found out that the cafe was closed every Monday.

We then thought of going to Kopi Roti instead, so we crossed the six lanes of Katipunan Extension (God knows how scared I was while my friends where pulling me to cross the streetssssssss!)

When we reached the other end SAFELY (thank God!), we noticed a small place with some people inside. The sign outside spelled out: "Art. Café. Bar." So, we decided to try the new place out and went inside.

Apparently, the place was not yet officially open and the people inside are the owners of the café! They mentioned that the café is at it's very, very, very, very, very soft opening (which I think means that they're not yet ready to accept customers. Hahaha). But, they accepted us warmly and offered us drinks and foodsssss (at discounted prices or for free!) :)

We also had the chance to talk to the owners. Well, I think we both have no choice, they need to entertain us since we're their customers, and we have no choice because, well, they treated us pizza. The owner mentioned that the place was actually an art gallery plus a bar café. He shared that he and his business partner are very fond of jazz music (he's a jazz musician himself and he began enumerating good jazz bands whom I forgot right after he left our table. *shrugs*) and love appreciating art, thus the "Art. Café. Bar." was realized. When asked what the place is called, he just simply said, "196B" -- the exact address of the place. Well, either he just wanted his place to be remembered by his customers quickly or they're just lazy to think of other possible names for the café.

Well, I expected that Mark, Osep, and I will cap our days with a good sip of coffee at Schizo Café. But, it turned out that we ended our days with a good bottle of beer, a bowl of Chippy, a few slices of pizza, new acquaintances, and a fairly good memorable adventure. :)

P.S.

They only sell foreign beers for reasonable prices and wines (and cheese! The culture, baby!) but with cheaper rates. :)

Bridges

Let's build bridges;

   My heart to yours

   Your soul to mine

Heart and soul, together.

To others, build bridges.

(Some of the) Minutes of the Impeachment

As a young, Filipino citizen, it was a privilege for me to witness a historic event in the history of Philippine politics. Well, I was already born when the Edsa II Revolution happened, but I wasn't yet very aware how big it's impact is to society.

So, while I was listening early on to the Impeachment Trial last May 29, 2012 where the Senator Judges will be giving their vote whether or not to convict or acquit Chief Justice Renato Corona, I tried my best to put down in this entry the Senator's points about the reason why they casted their votes.

____________

Basis of Impeachment: Articles of Impeachment Nos. 2, 3, and 7

Angara:

• GUILTY

Arroyo:

• Impeachment is a political process not a political assassination.
• Impeachment must forever uphold due process.
• What started in the house was not an impeachment…
• I cannot imagine removing a Chief Justice on account of a SALN.
• ACQUIT

Cayetano, Alan:

• Sino ba ang nagsasabi ng katotohonan? Ano ba ang katotohonan, base sa ebidensiyang ipinresenta sa korteng ito?
• Wag nating komplikado ang simpleng-simple.
• Pati ba naman sa pera, may diskriminasyon?
• GUILTY

Cayetano, Pia:

• The failure to declare something pesos/dollars is not minor.
• Private interest over public interest
• Public office is a public trust. Pag nawala na ang tiwala ng taong-bayan, dapat po bumaba na sa pwesto.
• Those in public service should not hide behind our titles.
• GUILTY

Defensor-Santiago

• There is no conflict between the constitution and the foreign currency act.
• Misinterpreting the constitution!
• Anong susunod sa ating desisyon?
• ACQUITAL

Drilon

• Respond admits that he did not declare the 2.4M dollars and 180M pesos
• GUILTY

Escudero

• While I do not approve of the manner how the House of Representatives in filing the impeachment,
• Ang pinagbabawalan ng FCDU law na hindi magrelease ng bank deposit accounts ay ang banko at hindi ang depositor.
• Si CJ ang kauna-unahang opisyal na nag-execute na pumirma ng waiver para buksan ang kanyang bank accounts.
• Panahon na para itaas natin ang antas ng  pamantayan sa mga namamahala ng ating bayan.
• Hinahamon ko ang lahat ng ating kasamahan sa Senado, gayundin sa Kongreso, na gawin din ang (pagpirma ng waiver  para pahintulutang buksan ang bank accounts).
• GUILTY

Ejercito-Estrada

• Opening is about Former Estrada's Impeachment Trial.
• The CJ did not include in his SALN, 2.4M dollars and 80M pesos.
• The CJ is a learned man of law.
• Bilang CJ, sya dapat ang may higit na alam at pag-unawa sa batas na walang bahid na pagtatakip o interes.
• GUILTY

Guingona

• Ang aking boto ay para sa kasagraduhan ng Saligang Batas.
• Idedelara lang ba ito kung kelan gugustuhin ng opisyal?
• How could one man use the very same constitution which mandates full disclosure
• GUILTY

Honasan

• GUILTY
• I wish you strenght and honor, Mr. CJ

Lacson

• GUILTY

Lapid

• GUILTY

Legarda

• On betraying public trust
• Wala po akong nakikitang dahilan para po hindi ipatupad ang parehong batas na ito sa isang punong mahistrado. We are guided by a basic principle of equal representation of the law.
• GUILTY

Marcos

• Predisposing the public minds against the Chief Justice
• ACQUIT

Osmena

• But nowhere in the FCDU not allows the depositor to disclose his deposits.
• Cites different court cases regarding undeclaration of assets in SALN in which all respondents were found guilty.
• Higher level of moral standard in government!
• GUILTY

Pangilinan

• Inconsistency of SALN Report and CJ's testimony on stand
• Anong masama kung ideklara niya lahat kung wala naman siyang itinatago?
• Base sa ebidensya, maliwanag na may sistematikong pagtatago ng ari-arian.
• Sa paglilitis na ito, nakita din natin ang pagkatao ni Chief Justice.
• Kayang pagiging sakim ng kanyang mga kamag-anak
• Ang pag-walk-out sa court room mismo
• Siya ba ay pagkakatiwalaan pa ba na rumespeto sa ating mga kababayan sa loob ng anim na taon?

• Impeachable case ba ang pagsisinungaling?
• GUILTY

Pimentel

• There is no law on exclusion of co-mingled funds in declaration in the SALN.
• Converted to Philippine Peso!
• GUILTY

Recto

• Logic dictates that we have sensed the slight inaccuracies…
• Let's go back to our programming where hard, unheralded work is done behind the camera lights. Let's set our priorities back again.
• GUILTY

Revilla

• To be an epitome of a public servant with the highest ethical standards.
• The CJ failed to properly disclose all of his assets in the SALN.
• GUILTY

Sotto

• GUILTY

Trillanes

• From now on, no one is untouchable.
• GUILTY

Villar

• Naawa din ako kay Corona.
• GUILTY

Enrile

• This trial began in insolvent behind a backdrop of a highly emotional atmosphere.
• The culmination of this national drama is at hang. And the time has come for me to render judgment from me.
• As I lawyer, I must confess that I was really frustrated by the hasty crafting that characterized the presentation which contained the articles of impeachment… it was built up only after the charges have been filed.
• This court means serious business to allow any undertactics and mimicry to deter this court to our task.
• Even if the respondent has full access in his bank accounts, the defense didn't present any evidence regarding bank accounts in this court.
• 2 reasons why CJ did not declare the P80M and $2.4M bank accounts:  That his peso accounts represented co-mingled funds and that he was not required to report or declare his foreign currency deposits of his SALN because they were confidential under the FCDA law.
• The oath required him to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, so help him God.
• GUILTY

Final Tally: CONVICT-20; ACQUIT-3

____________

Now that the Impeachment is over, I hope that public officials in power now realize that not every time they can get away with their thirst of power and greed. I hope that the citizens now realize that there is still a part in the government which still give decisions in favor for the betterment of its people.

In the commencement of the Impeachment, I share the same sentiment as others, that this is just the start of a revolution to make the Philippines and the Philippine government a better place to be in.